i♥intoxicating myself with you.

into the new year

2011-01-02T23:54:00.002+08:00

what i've learnt and experienced in 2010:

not everything can have a happy ending. i played with fire, thinking that i could manage the situation well but i was wrong. i got burnt badly. things would not have turned out this way if i had put a stop to all the misunderstandings that i created. i admit my greediness to enjoy the feeling of being courted but i picked the wrong person to play with and hurt myself thoroughly.
pleasing everyone, even at the compromise of what's right, will not exchange for happiness. yea you read it. i was really miserable pleasing people at the expense of my own happiness. in the end i did all the wrong things and paid a fucking huge price for it.
the truth hurts, but sometimes being honest can salvage a lot of unnecessary damage. it sure stings, hearing the ugly truths about things. at least honesty can salvage trust.
finding love again. i've found the most incredible and amazing person in 2010. you're right, i've been living a dan fucked up life before meeting you and i want to thank you for fixing my life, and accepting me for who i am even though i'm not so perfect. your love has given me the courage to live this second life that you've granted me.

what my 2011 resolutions are:

not to be so naive anymore. not everything can be so pure and innocent.
not to be too trusting.
trust.
spend more time maintaining relationships. i have always suck at maintaining friendships.
to be a better girlfriend.
love myself more. give it more patience and time.
fix my awful grades ):

7th day

2010-04-19T01:17:00.002+08:00

and the pain is still lingering,
'cause the wound was cut too deep.
it's healing but there's still the risks of it rupturing once again.
&now the problem is: how prominent the scar will be after the wound heals.
.
.

hope 17th wasn't a fairytale.

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY! :D

2009-05-11T18:38:00.011+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

MOMMY!! :D:D

WHEE! family &i went to our usual pigout location at haig road for 'zichar' dinner(: had crabs, braised seafood (got my fave fish maw :D) pork ribs etc. totally pigged out.. p.s not including the 2 mac meals i had for lunch &semi-dinner. p.ps also the cantonese cruisine i had for sat's dinner! yummy &bloated to the max :}:}
went tampines one to walkwalk after dinner(:

watched 'taken' in the morning at amk hub. shat tht movie's making me paranoid, now i won't dare to travel alone or with a group without guardians/: scary. HAHA i see the guys are back from field camp &everyone's suffered scratches, abrasion &mosquito bites.. yucks look at the rotten piece of flesh/: heard from yingchao tht jaren has a major breakout! lol his face is super red, comparable to boonwei's lmao!

sighh, i've been thinking probably i've bad time management or like the term choc says to describe people whom have the '3-minute-heat' lol, i'm so irresponsible ):
anws lucks to those who've sit-tests this week :D

Lucas

2009-05-07T22:35:00.004+08:00

roarr screw my bluetooth device .v. it's not sensitive anymore! & i've to upload pics from my phone manually one by one. pfft

anws, this is.. BABY LUCAS! my (self-proclaimed) godson!! :D sry ivy my bluetooth was being such a bitch it hung when i tried to transfer your pic over/: lol this sounds so intentional

translated. transposed. transcended

2009-05-06T22:13:00.002+08:00

you can la-la-la with meeeeee..
signs of abnormal behavoir caused by suppressed frustrations
hmm suddenly i've an urge to go clubbing x:
but those thoughts will never materialise again. DANG
dancedance everything away, spend tht few night hours living in a make-believe environment & character.
if you're lucky, you may get a fast fling(: we all know: nth's serious at night

xoxo;
pffft psstt..
it's the tales we tell ourselves about ourselves that makes us who we are

you can be my someone, my sin

2009-05-05T22:42:00.002+08:00

an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary
settling inside me is an uncomfortable feeling
perhaps it's guilt, contentment, remorse, hope
rephrase: a co-existence of everything
oxymoronic emotions, (it's like a dementor's kiss)
HAH bleagh.
.
.
.

3 more days. maybe i will lose some weight lol

28 bubbles of happiness

2009-05-05T22:02:00.004+08:00

WHEE mommy ivy came back to visit with baby lucas! :D:D aww he's so cute i tried to carry him but i guess he was hungry, so he kept making those funny noises & even tried to suck my.. coughchestccough :O so hilarious.
aww looking at those adorable little babies makes me wna have mine soon too! lmfao :p i think i should start planning for my future:

a stabilized career at 26

just married at 27

be a mommy at 28!! :D:D

HAHA alright.. enough of daydreaming x:

have been reading bout my past recently, reminiscing bout the fun/down moments of life..

this will be the nth time i'm gna reiterate: THAT I SRSLY MISS THE LIFE OF BEING A SCHOOLGIRL D:

like in tkgs: seems like for the entire 4 years i've been moving around in cliques from FAST to PANGSAI POWERS (it's actually a fact lol) others often hurl criticism at us, esp when we are the psp. well yes, for the fact tht we are different HAHA but we don't care! we are who we are(: when choc &i met up with jozette & linyi 2 saturdays ago we talked to much bout the people from our pasts esp random people tht we almost forgot i.e from the malay clique to nashmi's lovebite (which led us to linyi's mushrooms :p)

like in tjc: hmm -thinks hard. not many memorable moments but there was still some.. orientations, where i met my ultimate eyecandyy as well as yuyang. others include seeking high/low for eyecandyy with yiling during breaks & morning assembly HAHA, looking for moreee eyecandies when the Ultimate graduated. also not forgetting the intensive mugging sessions for prelims in school till 8:30pm almost everyday &nlb sessions from 9am to 9pm. ok so after listing down evt, i was rlly a no-lifer during jc x:

those days

2009-05-03T13:01:00.004+08:00

con-tent [kuhn-ten]

-adjective

1. satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

peekchures in the pockets of memories:
class excursion to some incineration island in s'pore. SPOT US! :D

choc with geraldine @ recording of ccs first season

class bonding 2006 @ ecp

the month of april

2009-05-03T11:31:00.003+08:00

WHEEE i changed my skin! (ripped from atiqah: tssk girl if you're reading this)
the acceptance letters from both NUS and NTU have arrived, good news(: actually the days after A's are pretty monotonous - work, sleep, tuition, weekends with the shitzx. haha or maybe it's just my life.

okkayyyy few weeks back the guys were enlisted(: & few days back their confinement period ended. yesterday they booked in for field camp :O

anws labour day holiday was action-packed from the morning till the night! went out with julie zhipeng & qianying to catch friday the 13th. i swear tht's the first & the last gory movie i'm gna watch for the rest of year 2009! zhipeng's recommandation is so wtf .v. i already can't wait to get my arse out of the theatre after the first 15mins of the show. &i so so so hate the sound effects! (JASON) BAI ZHIPENG you better watch out nxt time.. we the girls are so gna force you to watch alien v.s monsters (or any other retarded pixar aminations)!! boo but zhiqing &zhihao couldn't turn up.. such a pity ):
HAHA moving on i watched x-men origins in the evening - hugh jackman is so daamn hawwt! :D:D tsktsk victor in the movie is evil, just like his twin in the realworld mwhas :p
.
.

1st MAY: watched 17 again @ amk with yingchao before he books in. wth i was a whole 20 mins late for the movie cos i was stuck in a traffic jam along the expressway! roarrrr the taxi fare was so ex ): i alighted at the wrong bus stop &lost my way hence cabbed. today was so rush but fun(: anws after the movie we cabbed down to white sands &the mall was packed with green pixelated recruits! the escalator episode was rather hilarious :p
ohh anws i discovered tht my malay tutee has a chinese boyf for 6 mths! HAHAHA sho shiyun-imran :D

what made me unbeautiful

2009-02-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

10:00pm
....

10:05pm
....

10:06pm
how did she get here.

10:09pm
thoughts filtered themselves behind the backspace key.
it stops here.

10:15pm
you know it's time to stop and ask, when your yesterdays catches up with your future.

it was me and you against the world
and you promised me forever more
was it something that i said
was is somethin that i did
cos i gotta know what made me unbeautiful

'09

2009-01-10T10:43:00.002+08:00

HAHA MY FIRST POST OF 2009. :D:D
hvn't got the time to sit down and think of my new year resolutions/:

countdown @ clark quay was bit of a catastrophe (right?) so we ended up spending the last few minutes of year 2008 walking up and down the streets of chinatown and clark quay ._.
alright, yes fawn i'm also glad the shitxz tried to trash things out but i'm not sure how much went into one another's ears LOL.
we shld write new year resolutions for one another, like last year, but i rlly wonder where's our 2008 resolutions kept in a wine bottle @ chun's hse HAHA maybe discarded by her maid or sth.

okkays i've been a workaholic.
roar and i'm not spending chinese new year in s'pore. can't bai nian with the shitxz D:

in retrospect, 2008's been really a busy year with big events like the A's
apart frm that everything tht happened, happened in a blur.
i've been a rlly lousy friend last year. many friends i made walked out of my life cos i didn't stop them.
some people came and left in a hurry.
i fell and stood back up again.
haha i'm living in the past no more! :D

anws, ripped from fawn:
Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, name and/ or objects but nothing made up. TRY to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same initial. You can't use your name for the girl/boy question. Have fun!

My name is: Samantha
Four letter word: Sand
Boy's name: Samuel
Girls name: Sandra
Occupation: Superhero
Florist Colour: S
Something you wear: Spectacles
Beverage: Snapple
Food: Sushi
Place: Somerset
Something found in the bathroom: Soap
Reason for being late:
Something you shout: SHIT
Font: Script
MTV Show: F(icantthinkofone)
Song title: Supermassiveblackhole
Country: Switzerland(:

crishmaaaaaaas(:

2008-12-27T20:58:00.006+08:00

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!
it's the season of giving.

i've been working &i enjoy working there(: the colleauges are interesting. LOL
meanwhile i've been expanding. doing admin jobs rlly set the pounds in you/: i've gained 2kg ever since the start of A's.
i'm damn lazy. lol i hate working but i have to work to earn money for university admission. roar &i hvn't checked out my modules and admission criteria/:

well.. and happy (belated) birthday yingchao. HAHA i've given you my greetings this year so stop harping tht i forgot last year.
fish and co. was fattening ):

xmas countdown @ball's house tgt with choc, julie, cow, evepotato and how can i forget fawn? :D
i alighted at the wrong stop cos i thought all along ball lived at waterside. how gay
and so when i reached my potong ice cream and rainbows have melted .v.
okayyy so we'll countdown again for the new year!! :D:D only this time without chun):
probably with ball and potato again. LOL fawn pls upload the pictures!(:

rendevous temasek

2008-12-04T23:24:00.004+08:00

marina mandarin @ 1st dec.

it was a hectic hectic hectic day. went to do my hair and makeup at zhiqing mother's shop at 3 and rot all the way there till 6 where we (julie zhiqing me zhiyuan sarah etc) cabbed down to the hotel.
i didn't rlly like the food though.. &my the didn't serve my favourite dessert, red bean lotus paste!! ):): wth i was so so looking forward to the dessert &the served yam paste instead ._.

post prom was darn sucky. the party at DXO started late and ended so damn early! it ended at 1:45am when the arena &zouk ended at 3pm wth. strolled down the esplanade drive over the bridge to the merlion park.
cabbed back to zhiqing's house with zhipeng and zhihao &we stopped for uber early breakfast @ this dim sum restaurant HAHA zhihao footed the bill(:
omg removing makeup is the worst thing to do srsly.. so troublesome!!
few rounds of dai tee after the girls bathed before we all drifted to lalaland :D

roar lousy blogger can't upload my peekchas cos they're too large o.0
find them at facebook(:

green lights, stop and go

2008-11-29T22:39:00.003+08:00

1. Oh no, fawn got kidnapped by aliens! What do you say once they get back?
AHHHHHHH! how are your parents related to these aliens?

2. What's your fondest memory of choc?
aww. being partners with her for a year during sec 3 HAHA! i remembered drawing "choc loves sam" on our tables using correction fluid! :D

3. If jingchun played in a movie, what kind of character would they play?
err.. an alcoholic! lol

4. Who is yingchao's best friend?
i think one of his sec school friends.

5. What would you do without qianying?
HAHA! i think i'll still be surviving pretty well(:

6. Do you miss julie?
not exactly. i just saw her pic moments ago!

7. If zhiqing and zhipeng teamed up, what would they most likely accomplish?
HAHA err most of the job would probably be done by zhiqing. zhipeng is a slacker

8. Can zhihao be bad influence?
not exactly, he's a nice guy

9. Who is zhipeng's best friend?
not sure

10. What would you do if you hadn't met kirk?
i wouldn't be bickering with him everytime.

paper lies and plastic hearts.

2008-11-28T22:57:00.008+08:00

qite's returning to china, so we had a farewell dinner for him @ blue jazz. ohmy &poor him had to foot 50% of the bill, which was like $196 :O:O

but the girls have conscience HAHA so we decided that we'd pay for our own drinks.
never underestimate a guy's stchomach. the guys ate 2 plates of pasta(!) while 5 girls shared 1 pasta, 1 salmon & 1 chicken LOL!

ohh gin and tonic was niceeee, tasted like.. citrus? HAHA maybe i was wrong.

our mixer tasted diluted but rather nice tho, tequilla with lime. ):

rawr &the most screwed up thing bout post-prom that we realised was tht the tickets sold at the door will be entitled to free flow of drinks for the first hour!! we'd rather pay $2 more for this than for a 1-year free nEbO membership. bleagh

&now.. peektures!! :D:D

(nothing lasts forever so everything is a phase.
it's just that some phases last longer than others.)

life's anything but.

2008-11-25T23:28:00.006+08:00

say GOODBYE to the days of cold hard mugging.HELLO to days of kerazeee shop-till-you-drop, which most probably would be swiftly accompanied by absolute boredom &bankrupcy.

A's were over. but it wasn't all smooth-sailing. now i'm worried over almost evt from bio to geog D:D:

anyways on a lighter note, shopping has been so so so ultra boring to the max.

as a matter of fact, post-A's activities (especially prom shopping) are kinda over-rated to me. time's passing so slowly, it's only 5 days after the last paper/:

everyday after that's nth but far-east, orchard, suntec, marina sq, bugis &the whole cycle repeats itself. tried bishan recently but it's err.. not very impressing.

nothing nutritious rlly.. in a nutshell. HAHAHA but the company was great tho - my lovely twin worm which lives-in-little-india-and-totally-rawks-my-socks (as insisted by her, the last part), julie &choc :D:D

class bbq was awesome last night! :D wasn't as screwed as i thought it'd be.. most ppl turned up.

our fire wouldn't get started, mushrooms wouldn't get cooked fast enough etcetc.

we played this number game at the end of bbq &it was darn farnayyy!! :D:D

totally laughed my shitxz out! HAHA didn't know kitty tan was so hip.

.
(happy birthday superman)

just jaded

2008-10-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

t's been almost a month. an eventful month -

pre-prelim nlb sessions:
where the different, most distantly related tj individuals haphazardly coincide.

the awful prelims:
i already said it was awful.

self-destruction period:
despite how much libras hate pressured decisions &confrontations.

farewell:
leave-taking or departure; emotional fruitcakes and tears are usually mutually not exclusive. it's time to bid the littered memories behind &move on.

pre-A's blues:
i srsly doubt my ability to achieve my desired grades. let's hope s'pore does badly(:

overdued sweet secrets:
spilled when an animal moo-ed.

xoxo.

Hold up Hold on
Dont be scared
Youll never change whats been and gone
May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Dont be scared (dont be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
Youll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

forget me when i'm gone

2008-10-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. sam
2. LOL (lump of lard)
3. jiamin

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1. JaCkPoT PrInCeSs (HAHA! omfg tht's what i had in ele sch! &yes it was in sticky caps. deezgusting/:)
2. welcome to the beautiful letdown &;
3. callascent (YES laugh fawnporn it's NOT callasam LOL! :D:D)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. my slim tanned legs :D tho they're a lil short.
2. my collarbone. i think they look kinda sexy. gosh

3. my skinny feet.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. FAT-F1 TYRE waists ):

2. oily complexion
3. my frizzy dry disobedient hair ):):

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. buddhist familyyy
2. we speak cantonese
3. chinese

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. INSECTS! + lizards/ worms, anything slimy

2. feel left out, alone.

3. losing loved ones.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. HANDPHONE duh.
2. food &more FOOD.
3. slacking

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW
1. tkgs pe shorts
2. specs

3. 1E5/2E5 class tee! (:

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW)
1. just stand up - various female artistes
2. crush - david achuletta

3. the man who can't be moved - the script/ save you - simple plan

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. i always have a BIG problem getting over relationships.

2. i had always wanted a one night stand.

3. i am good at wearing facades and faking my behaviour esp in front of those i abhor.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. be clean &look smart pls!!

2. taller or equal to 175cm
3. no tummies too. neither do i want bones.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1.retail therapy! getting good bargains :D:D

2. badminton would be nice.
3. gossipping HAHA

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. RETAIL THERAPYYYYY!!

2. get some sense of urgency

3. find someone.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED
1. chemistry/math teacher
2. vet
3. selling home-made pastries :D

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. Italy
2. Paris
3. some rural area in japan/ switzerland

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE
1.
2. Chanel
3. Desiree

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. backpack travelling around the world with my special one.

2. lose my virginity (yes fawn, just like you!)

3. tell my family how much i'm afraid of losing them &confess to all my crushes lol

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. i enjoy bitching
2. having crushes &gushing to girlfriends about them :D

3. i flip my cupboard upside down &still not knowing what to wear for a date

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. i am super unglam
2. my violence
3. forgetful

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW
1. anyone
2. who's

3. reading.

the seventh thing..

2008-09-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

that face that tore holes in me

2008-09-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

yesterday was hell
but today i'm fine without you
run away this time without you
and all i ever thought you would be
that face is tearing holes in me again.

and all the things you put me through
i'm holding on by letting go of you

a beautiful letdown

2008-09-03T23:03:00.007+08:00

shall be sinful and document my life for the past few ~~days~~weeks.

the weather's been all gloomy and wet, just like my inner mood/: LOL maybe heaven's weeping for the J2s.

anyways in a nutshell, study break + sept hols were no where near productive. &tht's bad sam. until tdy i think, tht i felt urgent while i was racing against time to complete chem/math corrections/geog &read a wee bit of bio.

bleagh.

oooh the olympics fever's finally subsiding. HAH michael phelps' been the topic of discussion in &outside class! :D:D omg swimming events are so damn exciting!

&not to forget the table tennis girls. feng tian wei totally rock purleaseee! :D:D i'd fun betting with stupid cheapo andy using chocs.

well, not forgetting tht it was CHOC CHIA XINNI'S happysweet18! :D credits to fawn(:

camped at her pool @ midnight(yes fawn, again) to give her a suprise. pushed her into the pool at midnight (and i got into the water too for no reason) sleptover.

&had dinner at..HAHA. i'm still thinking of the pork ribs omg ._.

rolls on floor laughing(:

2008-08-26T22:55:00.003+08:00

flames to dust

2008-08-24T00:39:00.012+08:00

I URGENTLY

NEED TO BE MORE

PRODUCTIVE!!

/: /:

a liberation affair

2008-08-21T00:21:00.002+08:00

eh fawn, why did you post such random peektures huh?(:When our time is up
When our lives are done
Will we say we've had our fun?

Will we make a mark this time?
Will we always say we tried?

Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
Standing on the rooftops
Everybody scream your heart out.
This is all we got now
Everybody scream your heart out.

All the love I've met
I have no regrets
If it all ends now, I'm set

tomorrow's cancelled

2008-07-26T22:58:00.005+08:00

oh look! HAHA
tdy's the first time i felt giddy mugging after so so so long i.e. it's a rather productive day

but it's not so productive cos i've only completed a teeny tip of my iceberg of homework/revision ):

oh no no.. the stress level's growing esp when i see people around me doing aome serious revision /:

anw, studied @ the esplanade lib with julie &we thought we could catch the fireworks display for n'day rehearsals BUT wth they made us wait for 1/2hr and there was NO FIREWORKS.

pfffffft.

oh &i had a v horrendous nightmare last night. i think i kicked my pillow &pushed my handphone onto the floor while dreaming. damn action packed.

well, dreams were meant for sleeping. right?

(today in a blink of an eye

i'm holding on to something and i don't know why i tried)

a lingering sign of damage

2008-07-21T23:43:00.003+08:00

lin·ger [ling-ger] -verb
1. to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected,
as if from reluctance to leave
2. to remain alive; continue or persist,
although gradually dying, ceasing, disappearing
3. to dwell in contemplation, thought, or enjoyment

butterflies in my tummy

2008-07-18T22:18:00.003+08:00

omg i donated blood for the first time! :D yesyes i saved 3 lives with that bag of blood.
HAHA my blood flow was rather fast, my packet was full before i knew it(: luckily they jabbed local anesthesia if not i'd die of pain while the nurses wriggle the needle into my blood vessel ._.
germaine's accident was scary. her anesthesia didn't work properly omg /:
LOL &this was my happy bandage :D

hmmm.. jingchun's returning to australia tmr ):

happysweet18 fawn! :D

2008-07-13T22:30:00.007+08:00

it's non other than.. FAWN'S birthday today!
rendezvous @ clarke quay & manymany hilarious dares for the burfday girl HAHA.

earning hugs from strangers while wearing a pink robe
star jumping in the middle of the pedestrain crossing & "honk if i'm hot" (which she earned 3 honks)
getting a stranger to eat her LC cheese cake
distributing 2 breadtalk breads to strangers
requesting for a free drink frm any bar (she rlly got a lychee martini!)
ramming into a pillar, intending to burst the balloon at her stomach &exclaiming at the end "oh shit! my baby's gone!"

&so, the very last gift was a bungee trip tgt with the other 2 july babies(: you guys sure know how to skkkerreeaammmmm!! HAHAHA

happysweet18 julie :D

2008-07-11T23:53:00.007+08:00

.
.
.

when a painting falls from the wall, it makes a loud crash
when a glass breaks, it makes a shattering sound
when a boy falls, he cries
but when a heart breaks..
(it's completely silent.)

memories are the only constants

2008-07-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

grr.. i'm always regretting the choices i make .v. i'm ultra indecisive &so not a natural decision-maker
i guess that's what libras are.

oh wells, this week seems to be passing at the speed of light &i feel like
i'm left behind from the rest of the world. not good.
i'm just feeling a lil melancholic hah. jingchun's birthday down i.e. 2 more july birthdays to go
HAHA so it's the get-pui period of the year, ohno no excuses to pon running ):
it's 12:03am but i still don't feel like turning in.
it's gonna be the end of GSS but i haven't bought a single clothing for myself
(which wasn't what i wanted)
i don't know why am i stressing myself &puny brain up when it's only july ._.
i don't know why am i taking so long just to type this entry.
i don't know why life in school is so monotonous.

i don't know why this entry became a verbal diarrhoea.

happysweet18 jingchun! :D

2008-07-07T21:41:00.006+08:00

this was ripped from fawn's lj. :D

shall update some other time with the pictures, i'm exhausted.

meanwhile..HAPPY BIRTHDAY JINGCHUNN! :D:D

whatever it takes

2008-07-06T18:59:00.001+08:00

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together,
I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

if you don't wish to speak

2008-06-28T22:58:00.005+08:00

reluctance upset murder cats sms fat jcts long school hours forgive forget hallucinations dreams wanted it stings mommy thee never should let his name escape thou's mouth melanchony burning fiery tears unwritten essays breathing why she's prettaye crash and burn lovelies promise fireworks angels incomplete wishes yesterday didn't make it before the clock strikes twelve

this shall be the only complete sentence my brain will formulate.

runaway

2008-06-17T21:49:00.005+08:00

shit. can someone tell me what to do?
i'm so so so screwed up at the moment ):
gp/ geog/ bio
SIGH ):):

i'm just stifled by the sudden stress surrounding me.&i need to breathe
badly.

your words are memories but they burn

2008-06-16T23:30:00.007+08:00

i've been mugging. but i've been slacking too.
&i've been putting on those sinister pounds of fat everytime i eat x:
sigh, my brain won't function, just won't. my mouth won't stop eating (wtf)
&..

my heartstrings won't stop twisting.
.
.

the only reason people hold onto memories so tight
is because memories are the only thing that won't change
when everything else does

singing a lonesome lulluby

2008-05-31T22:49:00.001+08:00

zzz i think i wasted a week just like that. spent most of my time replenishing my sleep &getting the rusty engine started ._.
but finally a productive day @ the esplanade lib with jul &choc(:
(hm kinda not-so-productive too cos vectors was screwing me up .v.)
sighhhh &i gained 1369874672160 pounds again today /:
i've never eaten so much fried stuff in a day before :O
first it was dimsum @bao today (lol) - fried carrot cakes &deep fried mango prawn dumplings.
then it was dinner @makansutra roadside stalls - fried or-nerng but it was prawns instead
last but not least we bought chocs from muji &munched our way through afternoon
ohmy.
.
.

never realised the different places around the esplanade HAHA until this week
damn sua ku pls ._.
tskifinallyknowhowtoaccesstheroofterracetsk :D

xo.
WHEEJINGCHUN'SRETURNINGTMR!!:D:D

lost behind the words we could never find

2008-05-25T00:06:00.002+08:00

xo.
the sun is breaking in your eyes to start a new day.
this broken heart can still survive with a touch of your grace.
shadows fade into the light.
i am by your side,
where love will find you.

dance the last 27 seconds of your life like nobody's watching

2008-05-23T23:52:00.005+08:00

23rd the last day of term 2. zzz shitxz this means i can't slack on anymore ):):
siggghhhhhh.. life is such a pain. filled with pain too
mardi gras. it's kind of overrated to me.
(cow broke my pig. rarr .v. but i ain't gonna cry)
HAHA cow was just this a.a person(:
.
.

-
you pulled me under if i had to give in
such a beautiful myth that's breaking my skin

we'll write down all the things that we'll do

2008-05-19T00:32:00.003+08:00

the pangsais went to support fawn @ her guitar concert on friday.
HAHA cow &i chose this weird holland flower for her which looked like a huuuuuge dandelion
(but it smells bad /:)
omg jenny &the band totally rocked lol as well as the guest of honour
&we also got her requested black balloons! :D
hope you liked them jiawei :p
had supper @ old airport after that.

zzz. tdy was totally unproductive. yes totally.
came back from tuition, ate &slept all the way till 6pm ._.
it must be the sickening weather tht's giving me so many frequent headaches D:

(life moves along and it trickles down the cheeks of every beautiful boy
time comes along and it breaks every bone in your spine)

the pieces don't fit anymore

2008-05-15T23:08:00.005+08:00

half the time the world is ending
truth is i am done pretending
too much time to love defending
you and i are done pretending

there's no gravity to hold me down

2008-05-11T23:55:00.004+08:00

that's how i feel, when you ain't there
.
.

pigged out with alex last week &chatted quite alot.
&we're still the same(: HAHA but he's getting enlisted soon which means no more shitty msn convos anymore. rarr

HAHA &yes fawn i'm feeling muchmuch a frillion times better now
xiexieni :D:D &who'll forget your guitar concert? lol
(make sure it's better than last year's! :p)

pancake race today @ contact time. everything was so freaking hillarious!
aww but our class didn't make it to the finals cos we're 17th but still it was so so crazyy :D

band concert @ victoria concert hall - 10 may

i loved you yesterday

2008-05-06T21:54:00.011+08:00

the jumbomumbo yummylicious yogurt we had after dinner on saturday! :D

c'mon shitxz let's resume our kerazeee mugging sessions @ nlb again. quick!

i'm gonna be true to myself tonight.

i am living in denial subconsciously; taking 3 steps forward &one backward

it's a downward spiral &i've been struggling.

but the people around me are right.

&so i've decided to pick up from where i rlly left off :D

rarr my body &mind's cranking up.
breakouts/ headaches/ lethargy etc

it's too much time wasted in procastinating ):

but anyways, sth to be happy bout - i found my ambition while talking to cow last fri(:

sometimes i feel tht it's time to take the shitxz friendship to a higher level

hmm but minus off the time we use to eat/laugh/bitch

there's alw not much left for genuine updates &confessions.

it's a pity.

i'm unsure to say we've forgotten

but i'm certain we'll emerge stronger the next time our paths cross.

four girls &one broken heart

2008-05-03T22:37:00.003+08:00

WHEE(:
just came home after having dinner with the shitzx @ old airport.
stingray/carrot cake/rojak :D
&then we trooped down to leisure park for yogurt @ yoguru!
jumbo orignal &yogubliss mix + strawberry + mango + honey nuts.

sometimes friends are better partners than anyone else HAHA(:
i love the shitxz. &i can't wait for chun to return

ripped from fawnnn (thx :D)
Memory isn’t something that stays with you at all times.
It’s a quantity that gets summoned
or evoked or brought to mind.
It gets carried to an arena for our viewing pleasure.
By definition, then, there are times it must go missing

start

2008-04-30T21:25:00.003+08:00

now i know you're not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
cos now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
cos i liked the view
when there was me and you.

can't hold on

2008-04-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

Someone cries and it washes the street with tears
But when they are mine, they collect in my head for years
Rain or shine, still i'm standing on all i said
Cos it's in my soul, carry on when the feeling's dead

But if you can't hold on
Let it go and come back in your heart
And if you can't hold on
Maybe it's not time for you
And if you can't hold on
On your very last try
I'll be there in the morning to pull you through

Someone dies late at night and I never know
And even if I did, so afraid of the face I'd show
I feel trapped and enslaved to this dark contrast
Need a feeling now, give me something that's going to last

i want to be free
Yes, I want to be free
Oh, I want to be free
Yes, I want to be free

You say you want to be free
But you can't fool me

Oh, and if you can't hold on
Let it go and come back in your heart
And if you can't hold on
Maybe it's not time for you
And if you can't hold on
On your very last try
I'll be there so you know that you're not alone

&i'm picking up the pieces

2008-04-27T12:57:00.006+08:00

hmm anyways i've taken down one of the older posts. what's meant to be will be.

met up with the shitxz last night. dinner @ thaipan(: but cow was absent HAH
gossiped/ bitched alot &we randomly raked up our pasts while walking over to ice-cream chef's.
ohh like what jul said.. everything sounded so long long ago which is true(:
how well do we know ourselves and others?

ahh and jingchun's returning in a month half's time which means we've got an excuse to sneak out to chill! :D:D
hmm the GSS's coming too but we confirm won't have time for crazy shopping sprees ): nvm chun shall be our excuse! HAHA kidding girl if you're reading this(:
ruled out the idea of having sleepovers @ her house again, lest we get all drunk &the whole drama repeats itself. HAHA
had our ice creams. i had honeydew with snickers :p soo we sat at the same place as before &chilled. the laundry shop.

anyways choc jul &i discussed bout our futures on our bus ride home. ahh everything sounds so bleak LOL. singapore's education system's freaking stressing the shitxz out of us .v. how unhealthy for the mind and body.
who knows i may be stressing out to bout work and i may just collapse and die of over-exhaustion the nxt thing w/o knowing myself.
thought bout migration HAHA whatever. thought bout our plans to open up a pastry shop/ cafe tgt for chilling out :D sounds good.
.
.
.

someone said:
you'll never stop loving someone, you'll just have to learn to live without them.

i know we're moving fast
we're running from the past
i'm holding on before it slips away

could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
and baby that's alright
it's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
there's a reason why they say that we should give it time
but time is not enough
&that's the reason why
when you're young, you fall in love.

i'll put your heart in mine

2008-04-25T00:24:00.001+08:00

dots. sports meet was silly but gamma still owned the rest! :D
hmm lol we had an inspiring talk during contact time it's about "How Not To Marry A Jerk" HAHA that's what i need the most(:
the speaker was darn true.. like 90%? LMFAO &he's damn funny.
it takes alot from the guys to turn girls on.. like hugging/ kissing/ romancing/ nuzzling/ squeezing ._./ ignore the fat bits (HAHA! so true!) etc.
and the only way to turn guys on is to - arrive naked! ROFL ohmytian :D:D

ohoh i think i've found a new eyecandy HAHA but the calibre like not-so-very-good compared to eyecandy one &two! rarrr how much i miss them.. how i wish they're both still here ): tsktsk the guy has very nice eyes omg! :D

rarrr i hate myself these days. i've spoken so many lies.. white lies &i rlly feel guilty/ shameless for lying. unless sth happens, i'll still carry on with the lie cos
it's protection.

i think you're so hard to fathom. promises are meant to be honoured.. or should they be broken? i think i heard you say escapism. it doesn't really matter to you.

what's left of me

2008-04-20T22:21:00.005+08:00

i'm fine already,
at least i'm loving my laughter &smiles again(:
almost seven days of singlesville's life again. nothing special just.. an emptiness i can't lay my finger on.
but i know Time's the answer to all. Time will bleach heartbreaks &frame memories.

you're not the person that you used to be
the one i want who wanted me
and that's a shame but

i'd hug those who have helped me through the toughest times, you know who you are.
seeing me crumble in tears &playing awesome audiences.
thankyou.

there's only so many tears that you can cry
before it drains the light right from your eyes
and i can't go on that way

i'm glad my family's there for me too. unlike previously where i only had my pillow &the nights to confide in.
yea xuewen you're right, nothing beats having your family to play audiences.

well.. this is a closure to a very special chapter of my life.
i guess we're both not mature enough to handle a mature rship.
i realise my presence was already a kind of stress to you.
you're not strong enough to handle stress &time.
our mistake for finding excuses to cover up the problems.
my only regret is not being given a chance to work things out tgt with you.

and how could we quit something
we never even tried
well you still can't tell me why

anyway, thx for everything since the day we met. all the best(:

and so i'm letting go of everything we were
it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt

we built it up to watch it fall
like we meant nothing at all
i gave and gave the best of me
but couldn't give you what you need

you walked away
you stole my life
just to find what you're looking for
but no matter how i try
i can't hate you anymore

hello & goodbye

2008-04-19T10:16:00.003+08:00

只能低著头发呆　让回忆渗透脑袋渐渐变空白

把他当作个意外　但内心还想不开因为我明白　其实你都还在

我想起了遇见你的时候想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀裏的颤抖似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　当你离开的时候

我可以装作已释怀　他对我也算关怀他看不出来
我知道这样不应该　在他身上找依赖算不算是种出卖　因为你一直在

我想起了遇见你的时候想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀裏的颤抖似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候想起你眼神中的沈默
我想起了我们平静的分手我闭上眼
想起当时你美丽的承诺把你整个心都交给我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　越是没有你　越是心痛

2008-04-08T20:46:00.003+08:00

i really hate to admit that i dislike waking up in the morning everyday.
i just hope for a morning which i won't be awaken by disturbed thoughts/stress &be haunted by them for the rest of the morning.
it all comes running back - that feeling.
yea &i hate having to find all sorts of reasons to make myself feel better.
i'm like a balloon that's gonna burst anytime.. there's too much fears doubts stress worries bottling up inside.
but i've to deal with it anyway. they just won't leave.
.
.

on a ______ note, i think i've adapted to the new communication method between us,
&it stings y'noe.
seeing my phone hurts.
but i'm getting numb.
BUT i'm gonna be strong &fix the problem.

athazagoraphobic

2008-04-07T21:57:00.008+08:00

SAM SHOUTS "STRESSED!!"

omfg.

yeayea. i think bugs just love me. first it was the emo bug, now it's the stress bug
&not forgetting all the other miscellaneous (real) bugs that keep flying into my face ._.
thanks alot dudes.
for the past 4 nights i've been having either dreams with the same characters or nightmares.
bah there's no difference cos both jerk me awake in the middle of the night everytime. &abandons me with that familiar yet foreign feeling ~~the one i felt everynight 3 years back~~ to cajole me to sleep. wth
but i never got back my sleep after that.
.
.

long overdued KUANTAN PICTURES! :D

this are the desserts we ate for dinner buffet! (but it's only part I)

class picture @ putrajaya!

omg the waterfall is real!this was our 5 star beach resortstupid ant that crawled onto my leg ._.

2008-04-05T14:57:00.002+08:00

i don't know why am i doing here. HAH
good or not, i'm already feeling the stress of A's.
and i want the best of both worlds.

okkk mommy emo's gone away BUT baby emo's here to stay ):
i'm glad i sort half my worries &doubts with him alr (though i doubt he knows lol)
but i'm still unhappy bout it. sigh &the worse's tht i've only fridays (nights) for us.
i request for a little bit more time.. is it ever possible? it's not much to ask for.
sighhh.. anyways i still have to thank those lovely friends who stood by me &played audiences.
you guys rock.

i'm sorry i can't be perfect

2008-03-31T21:53:00.004+08:00

i remembered hoping that today will be a better week. well.. today's the first day of the (brand new) week.
but apparently my wish didn't come true today. (hopefully it will tmr)
look on the bright side sam, today's the last day of march! &i know april's gonna be a month full of good suprises waiting for me.
right? right? right?
right.

i screwed up both my chem and bio march common tests. that's it.. remedials for me ):
what does it feel like to be standing on an iceberg surrounded by the deep vast ocean.
everything just seems so close but yet so far.
.
.

april's gonna be a better month.
tomorrow's gonna be a better day for me.

2008-03-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

it's been rather common lately, thinking of redefining what i'm looking for &the consecutive events that led me there.
but i'm a bit lost.
i had a dream last night. a bad one.
yea.. everything that happened this week is bad.
i was awoken by the extreme fear i experienced in the dream.

we talked about our lives till the sun came up
and now i'm thinking about how i wish i could go back
just for one more day.. one more day with you

tomorrow's gonna be a better week for me (please?)

2008-03-28T22:16:00.002+08:00

hmm. this blog's becoming an escape for me whenever i'm down.
myfc_k, this week's been awfully bitter. nothing's been right ever since the m'sia trip.
what happened exactly?
i made a choice to face up to the ugly truth about friendships. &everyone knows, the truth hurts.
furthermore i discovered some more stinging truth about myself in this whole friendship mess.
&it seems that whatever i do or say's wrong. i needed to seek solace somewhere..
but i never got to my listening ear. ahh whatever. anyways the bottomline's just
i am not a substitute. i don't have to fade away silently whenever she's around &take her place when she's gone.

that was just mess number one.

mess number two. i should/need to:
1. mature
2. lock my active imagination
3. put more faith in trust
4. rip out the scars of history.

i ~~don't want~~ won't let history to make it's comeback. yes?
pssst.. i know you've been very tired lately. &thankyou so so so much for the gift i rlly love it &all the problems mattered no more for a moment.

best i ever had.

2008-02-27T22:46:00.004+08:00

WHEE! the clique went to queensway to collect our long awaited customised hoodie! :D:D
lol cow met julie &i first @ tj. omfg her hair's freaking electric purple! :O
hmm i think i still prefered her previous colour HAHA her a.a hair attracted a number of unwanted stares though.
trained down to redhill where we met choc.
lalaaa i'm URGENTLY IN NEED OF A PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES!!
ehh maybe another pair of canvas shoes too :P
okkayyy so where's my sugar daddy? HAHA

i felt quite good today. at least there was more interactions with some people who gave me the cold shoulder/strange stares (well almost).
hmm. some things just can't be kept under wraps no matter what.. lesson learnt,
in the presence of nosey parkers. (LOL when i'm one too)
.
.

&we can help each other off the ground so we never fall down again,
you're irreplaceable.

2008-02-25T19:39:00.002+08:00

there has been a pinch of unhappiness in me recently.
maybe it's the weather. maybe it's the academic stress/panic.
maybe i've been thinking too much (i hope so). maybe it's a little bit of everything.
i don't know.

WARNING: verbal diarrhea
i hate studies. i hate the ever-growing pile of tutorials. i hate the 'must' to score A's for A's. i hate compromising to pacify others. i hate some people. i hate misfits. i hate bottling all my troubles. i hate carrying a facade. i hate my reckless doings sometimes. i hate my hyperactive mind. i hate writing all these verbal diarrhea here. i hate i hate i hate. i hate myself.

p.s i love you (lol)

it's the twenty seventh!

2008-01-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

GO GREEN DAY/ slogged like hell/ didn't lose any weight (damn it)

&; (cos it's you and me, and all of the people
with nothing to do, nothing to lose
and it's you and me, and all of the people
and i don't know why
i can't get my eyes off you.)

2008-01-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

(&now i do believe, that dreams are meant for sleeping.)

2008-01-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

jingchun's left for australia already on the 22nd.

undeniable that time passes by pretty quickly. she was here

&now she's gone.

&i know (yes, i know) that i didn't do much for her during her stay.

HOI if you're reading this gayface, forgive me for not being a considerate friend (HAHA!) everytime we're on the phone k?

lastlyyyy i'm always a phone call away ok :D so NEVER TURN TO ALCOHOL!!

HAHA verbal diarrhea is dangerous :D

kays, so the psp met at changi airport @ 8:30pm to set up our yusheng suprise.

this was proudly brought to you by julie fawn &i(: special appearance by my bloody finger ._.

good luck to those who ate bloody carrots.

annnnnd.. we got her her Elmo!
&his name is Diarrhea Lin Lao Sai :D:Dhmm more pictures.yaa and it was time for her to go. zaijian woman! see you in june ):

.....

ice cream chef camwhore! :D

i'm just a sad song

2008-01-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

tgif today.

hmm i really love the school this way,
with all the pae people around
cos they colour up the monotonous tj with their multicoloured uniforms! (:
yaa &some people just look better in their sec school uni, just like me!! HAHA ._.

my mood swung from one extreme to another today. just that i kept it under wraps.
there's just no one i could reach out to.
raarrr but things turned for the better in the afternoon, when fang xiong/eugene/jonathan &kirk came along :D
rofl kirk fangxiong &i were having a mass racist/dirty jokes session in the lib ._.
fang xiong's so blur please! he needs a translator lol
&lastly to kirk/raghu/fangxiong: I AM NOT A LOL!! (lump of lard)

long overdued pictures! :D:D
STEAMBOAT! :D
presents for new year gift exchange. the alcohol on the table got us dead drunk.
semi-drunk choc!

2008-01-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

lunch date @ changi's sakae with pangsais on wed.
school's been nothing but a pile of shiat. zxxzxzzx
on a side note, i think i'm really diagnosed with stm cos i can't seem to remember what i did to others.
whatever -glares at bw &yc. /:
but i won't rule out the possibility that, i chose to forget
sub-consciously.

anyways, ponned contact time &trained down to changi with julie &choc.
as usual cow was late late late. HAHHA and.. the fun began!
rarrr i became the stupid sushi-rice dumper &had to keep disposing the rice into that red plastic bag
that was hidden in my bag ._.
WALAO &my bag became uber smelly after the buffet!! .v.
so we ate plate after plate. so so so many unagis &salmons &chawamushi! :D:D
candy-empired &bought jelly beans, starbursts! &this fire extinguisher sweet cos it was so cute.
.
.
.

(it was the roar of the crowd
that gave me heartache to sing
it was a lie when they smiled &said,
you won't feel a thing.)

smelly sushi rice /:

sexy cowwww /:

this was only part one.

camwhoreeee!! :D:D

burn away those sweet-nothings

2008-01-15T21:51:00.000+08:00

&i just hope you know
that if you say goodbye today
i'd ask you to be true
cos the hardest part of this
is,

standing close to you

2008-01-11T23:01:00.000+08:00

went to temasek poly's open house today! waa i lovee that school.
it's so so so chio please! :D:D
&then fawn/cow/julie/i slacked in the canteen for hours after jingchun left. lol &something amazing happened:
half the sky began to rain while the other half remained dry /:
HAHA and we're caught in the middle(:

another round of fts &thrashed things out.

as requested by fawn
.
.
(where did i go wrong, i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known how to save a life)

and tonight i'm gonna fix things right.

2008-01-09T16:26:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed to be mugging hard for chemistry lecture test tmr, not to be here ):

(orientation zenith's over.
school has resumed (wth)
i can't catch up with what's going on!
lecture tests &piles of overdued tutorials.)
.
.

orientation was boring initially. zzz the ogms were kinda half dead &why did the school even arrange for the TAs to participate in the orientation? rarr those ponners(:
things only changed for the better (so much better) on the third day - mass dance @ suntec.
i got to know some more ogms better e.g. royce &boyfriend(s), edward and vibhu/the most shuai &thick-skinned ogm, kirk(:/ my funniest &cutest ogm, yuyang :D/ emo binghao etc
:D:D and this is truly the most valuable reward from being an ogl.
anyway gamma clinched the overall orientation champions, consecutively for 2 years!

.
.

&i lack sleep. alot alot of sleep /:
i need time to complete the overdued tutorials &mug for tests too. (damn then why am i still here)

paint that painful lie all over again.
it was almost perfect.
she almost fell for it.

P.S I Love You

2008-01-01T17:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008.
.

yet another sleepover date with the pangsais @ jingchun's (:
i swear this is the messiest but most unforgettable sleepover as for now.

we met in the afternoon &slacked around like potatoes in her hse playing silly funny card games.

then it was grocery shopping at fairprice for steamboat.

woo bought so so so many food! like there was

jelly/meatballs/fishballs/fish maw/tofu/yong tau fu

sausages/luncheon meat/praws/cabbages/chicken/salmon

:D:D

lol &we started drinking wine alr. lousy choc got tipsy after 1 glass ._.

her face was so red! &she vomitted to feel better.

counted down to 2008, finished our gift exchange &wrote new yr resolutions.

this was when the real drinking started /: /:

1 hr plus of gin/vodka/root beer/7up/tonic/red bull etc &keropok gives you 5 tipsy drunkards.

everyone was getting super high &jc was giggling uncontrollably, a symptom of being drunk(:

that poor girl couldn't control her emotions &collapsed.

she vomitted so much &nosebled. gay choc had to say she vomitted blood ._.

god, my hands were stained with her blood. so was everyone's.

cow &choc were the only MORE sober people around so they cleaned up the mess.

HAHAH they were angels that night! :D

everyone except cow vomitted. i did it thrice! ):

jc's state of mind was worrying.

lol so in short, we just spent the first few hours of new year sobering up &cleaning up the mess done by 5 drunk girls.

oh well, unglam as it is.. it's really an experience though :D

P.S i still love everyone of you even though we were smelly &drunk!

last x'mas i gave you my heart.

2007-12-25T00:36:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D:D

went out with jingchun/ fawn/ julie &choc today.
ohhh &i finally got to see &touch jingchun! she's for real. lol(:
woke up late first thing in the morning ._.
rushed like mad till my clothes fell into the toiletbowl
thanks.

met them in the lib. slacked the whole time please.
went round bugis before arriving at plaza sing to visit julie!
yuck. the tortill.. chips there sucks like shit. &the salsa sauce too.
but julie was nice, treated us to icecream :D:D

planned to countdown @ps, ended up at orchard.
ate hongkong cafe &bought shoes.
now i need a bag for nxt year ):
.
.

hmm.. does Santa really grant your x'mas wishes?

2007-12-22T15:25:00.000+08:00

i'm back from my trip.. like finally.
i learnt one thing, &that is to appreciate our govt.
lol(: s'pore is still 2314796285 frillion times better than china/hk.
there's no excessive smoking everywhere, including restaurants or hotel rooms.
the streets here are so much cleaner. the cars won't drive up the streets as and when they like it in s'pore.
zomg
local citizens won't speak at the top of their lungs even if it's only an arm's length away from the other person.
no pathetic beggars sleeping on the cold hard streets.
no touting here.
no spitting.

the visit to china wasn't enjoyable. hk/macau were better.
ocean park was great :D
.
.

anyway.. i'm rlly looking forward to meet up with the shits! :D:D:D
finally the clique's whole again(:

2007-12-14T12:29:00.000+08:00

zomg! i can't believe that i became a fangirl moments ago :O
&i'm a fangirl of:
.
KIM JUNG HOON!! Ytxzhszccxzxx!
he sings so so so well &i was stunned.
HAHA i shall rewatch Goong &witch yoo hee when i return from hk :D:D

but wtf i'm gonna miss him in s'pore! ):
rarrr da bian.
can't catch the Star Awards too. can't watch kjh live too .v.

anyways,
HONGKONG HERE I COME! :D:D

lay your armor down

2007-12-09T20:58:00.000+08:00

rained cats &dogs today.
nevertheless, the shits still went out together(:
yea so we went to settlers instead of ecp to cycle.

the bus ride there from bedok int was chao super noisy.
think the passengers below could hear us.
credits to cow(: lol! cos she got so high for some unknown reasons.
haha but her interpretation of a bargirl was really super gayyyy!
&some uncle in front turned to look ._.

yep so settlers. played
uglydoll/ taboo/ the game of life/ snorta/ slamwich &some reaction game.
waa so so so fun! we kept screaming out heads off :D
k &one of the staff there resembles pg
only fawn agrees with me .v. da bian.

&i chanced upon these old yellow pictures of us. the uglyugly us(:(:

eternity would have passed,

2007-12-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

if samantha's tummy flattens.
.
.
had my hair done today at gary's. i so don't trust other hairdressers anymore
after those heart attacks they've given me.
&he straightened my hair for free! muacksz :D

met julie @ suntec to watch f.i.r &we bumped into big eugene!
&his friends(:
lol justin &i were able to recognise each other after so long.
choc came, after which we had lunch &went shoe-hunting.
novo shoes are so cute.

&off choc and i went, to tuition.
haha we both actually think our tutor looks like mr.li /:

2007-12-08T00:09:00.000+08:00

roarrr. please stop rumbling mr.stomach!
i've a craving for taiwan sausage now ._.
at 12:16am

2007-12-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

cloth-matching has been the biggest problem sum recently.
've been sitting in front of the open cupboard without an idea what to wear.
zzz. i'm too self conscious probably.
i've been neglecting those body-hugging shirtz in one corner of the cupboard,
those that i bought years ago.

(if only my waistline didn't expand from a good 2_ inch to a frightening 2_)
HEH happy guessing people /:

that's your goodbye song.

2007-12-05T23:56:00.000+08:00

OMFZGOD! ESNIPS.COM DISABLED THE DOWNLOAD FUNCTCION!!

what's fcuking wrong? baidu &now esnips.
.v. .v. to the max please! great, now i'm totally severed from all connections.

anyway,
i finally heard the song i was desperately (&have difficulties remembering)

while working today!

:D:D:D

this song reminds me of you.

&but it's not what you think it is.

sunkisses on my skin

2007-12-04T21:32:00.000+08:00

everyone's working! even choc.
& I'VE GOT A STRONG TEMPTATION TO SWIM!
that's a side effect of watching too much of The Champions.
roarrr. i miss the feeling of gliding through the water &my toned/ tanned body
but that was a frillion years ago ._.
i lost my stamina. i doubt i can swim my fav. freestyle as fast as i could when i was younger /:
.v. .v.
nvm. i shall go find coach chong when i have the time (:

in the hands of Time

2007-12-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

went back to m'sia today for a visit.
drove off @ 7 in the morning. so so so earrlyyy! hey but the view of the sunrise on the ecp was breathtaking.
rarr! sam was a fatfat girl today! she did nothing but eat dimsum/ restaurant food/ tidbits &chocs
&rot in the car seat during the long long car journey ):):
think about the 329746113671 pounds of lard. ew
.
.

tuned in to my pod on the ride back.

the sky fell asleep; so did my heart.

i was listening to the same songs, looking at the

same scenery &driving on the same expressway

when i saw a reflection of the past. but then,

the feeling was different this time.

no longer wounding, only therapeutical.

;
.
pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
words are like weapons they wound sometimes.

the campfire song

2007-12-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

Event: OGL induction camp.

rarr. attendance was kinda atrocious. everyone was overseas, busy with their attachments or just pure slackers. charmaine was unwell! hope the next induction camp will be better.

made tikis/ played games/ wet towel games/ bench game/ freaking disgusting flour game .V./ many many mass dances!/cheers/ discovered some shocking secrets/ pigged out at pastamania with pj julie jaren &khia peng.

2007-11-30T12:40:00.000+08:00

your eyes don't lie, they give you away
you call, you call, everyone is juggling hearts
you think that you never make a mistake
you say, you say, everyone else is to blame.

the heart never lies

2007-11-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

OMFG. THE SCHOOL'S DISSOLVING MY CLASS! ):):):

wth there won't be anymore 03/07. the geog ones are all merging with 01/07 while the KI ones merge with 04/07.

sigh. everyone will be missed, though we only got closer after promos.

love is overrated

2007-11-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

WHEEE! IT'S 17TH NOV. IT'S OUR (BELATED) BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ...

MOO MOO COWWW! :D:D
'twas another day at the beach!!
.
.

went to jul's house in the morning/egg mayo &tuna sandwiches/ mee goreng/ sausage omelettes/ manymany kapo-ing of food.

rode a train to vivo/ sentosa!/ camwhoring/ TANNING!
yea &we tanned for a good 10 mins only? cow was uber uber late as usual.
2 hours late ._. jul &choc went to escort her while fawn &i rot at sentosa.
HAHAHA camwhoring was so lame &fun. we took tons of pictures for each other :D
correction: gayyy pictures.

lol we're so so bored, we played tic tac toe in the sand ._. &this 2 guys koped half of our shelter.
rarrr.
arrival of cow/ fawn threw hugs at her/ i ate sand/ the feast began!/ pork-floss birthday cake/ hazelnut crunch cake/ crappy card games/ tried our best to volley ball but failed/ played indian poker.

LOL HAHA indian poker was the best part of sentosa! :D:D we came up with a whole list of forfeits which got more &more embarrassing subsequently:
1. sing '10 little indians' while dancing around a coconut tree (jul)
2. pencil-roll from the nearest coconut tree to our mat (choc)
3. frog-jump around our shelter (which was shared b/w us &some guys) once (cow)
4. sit on the lifeguard chair &shout "i'm damn chio!" (me)
5. take a picture with the guys sitting next to us (me, again)
6. sit on the huge rock &do a sexy pose (fawn)
7. sit on someone's newly built sandcastle &say "i'm damn chio!" (fawn)
8. stand on the rock &do the mocca ad pose (cow)

wooo! it was chao embarrassing! being laughed at by the guys ._.
this is fawn's creation:

i look stupid.

anyway the ultimate asshole has to pencil-roll into the sea! :D but then everyone got dumped into the sea. HAHA dunking choc was the best! she kept struggling so so hard. &her undies were exposed LOL! HAHAHA :D:D

had dinner at subway before going home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COW! hope you appreciated it &stop saying you need love la ._. don't we love you enough? HAHA

sloth

2007-11-20T12:09:00.000+08:00

WHEEEE! finally a day for myself :D:D:D
there's so many plans going through my head now.
dwell at home/find someone to go out with/sleep etc.

roarrrrr but then my mom just sms-ed me. it's raining over at orchard
thankyouvmuch mr.rain .V.
.
.

.
maybe i may just go out later. how does alone sounds?

2007-11-16T22:26:00.000+08:00

the shits went out together after soooo long! WHEEE :D
yo &there's only one reason why we're back - ~~nua~~ cow's birthday!
met jul first at pp before meeting the rest at plaza sing &we spent/wasted lots &lots &lots of time trying to plan &compromise.
so after a looong looong time, we went to borders to get cow's pudding cow! aww it's so cute to the max (:

november has yet to depart &the x'mas decorations are already up along orchard
& they're so so so chio esp in the evening! :D camwhored like kerazeeee in front of the ballerina/m&m house/x'mas tree! ok but the pics are still sleeping in fawn's camera. zzz ._.
so we shopped at suntec carefour for tmr's picnic stuff (like finally)!
waaa i looooove doing groceries! :D so so fun!
.
.

shall upload the pics when pui uploads them(:

lonliness is bitter.. sometimes.

2007-11-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

meet my new friend - mr.lonliness.

gahhhh. working alone can be so so so lonely, although your colleagues are v nice.
&not isolating the fact that your colleagues are ever changing. which translates to not being able to make friends properly. ):):
there's no one to lunch with/ no one to talk to while working/ no one to take toilet breaks with. most importantly.
roarrr i hate it sometimes.
.
.

i'm having backaches /: i'm feeling old.

2007-11-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

finally a day to shop/just get out of the house! :D HAHA together with brina.
shits. the morning was unproductive. like totally. i woke up late.
roarr &there was this silly miscommunication between us ._.
went to bugis street first to get some stuff but apparently more than half the shops weren't open.
then down to heeren/cine/taka. walked till my legs almost broke.

ohoh &there was this pair of caucasian who stopped me to ask what's the meaning of 'ah neh'
lol they thought it was chinese! omg so i told them that it was a slang/dialect.
and the guy asked if it was cantonese/hokkien. i'm like omg they know our diff. dialects?!
yea &smart brina lied to them that it was an indian dialect ._. & 'ah neh' meant indian(slang)
HAHA &the guy asked again if ah neh was like angmoh. HAHA!!
roarrr. i wonder who's so evil to call them ah neh .V. &i feel so bad lying to them ):):
rarr they're nice people.
.
.
.

and i come to a conclusion that brina &i can't stop fighting in public.
which is chao embarrassing /:

sometimes.

2007-11-14T14:39:00.000+08:00

i want her life.

i feel like baking cupcakes.

2007-11-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

health screening is so fun :D:D
more fun than admin stuff lol!
worked at suntec this morning &had to get my ass off my bed at 6?!
zzz. stoned all the way ._.
oh oh &the ang mohs &japanese are so so so adorable! :D
made a new friend today (maybe). but i don't think i'll work with him in the near future i guess?
my feet's hurting from wearing heels .V.
.
.

-grumbles. homework &lecture tests are haunting me like shits .V.
hmm someone's birthday is coming soon. HAHA(:
.
.

whatever. i think this post is abit incoherent /:
life's been such a bore. rarrrr!! ):):

yellow dandelions.

2007-11-11T15:32:00.000+08:00

i think i should change my gloomy skin.

working is tough, geez. worked for the first time yesterday!
6.5 hours of admin work &unfamiliarity ):
but the people there are nice la (:
keeping my mouth shut &acting demure all the time is making my drowsy.
oh ohhh &there's this newgirl too (i guess) but she's reeaaaal quiet /:
lol i was supposed to leave at 1 but i left at 3:30pm instead! k it's still extra income :D
.
.
.
.
and i say working is so so so not fun ._.
sorry. i meant office work.

I LOVE MY DADDY!

2007-11-09T14:14:00.000+08:00

my cute papa :D:D

2007-11-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

i will not reasd between the lines,
lest i forgot your name
forgot myself.

sugar-daddies

2007-11-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

roar. i need cash, sugar daddy!!
i need piles of cash /:/: to fund my shopping spree (:

----

zzz. i'm growing to become a pig. -oinks.
where's my promised exercise regime? my diet plans? my tanning sessions?
HAHAHA ._. FINE!
i shall realllly start on my exercise ~~tomorrow~~ later!
and hurry shake that 198721635 pounds of fats off my waist!
and and &go for a nice even tannnn at sentosa/ecp
&then go for another round of shopping :D:D
.
.
which then traces back to cashflow problems again ._.
helllooooo. any nice sugar daddies out there?
(flashes grin)

blame it on the weather

2007-11-05T23:25:00.001+08:00

Y
ilet's pulls through this season
&emerge stronger, the next time we meet.

every cloud has a silver lining :D

2007-11-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

the long awaited class outing!! (though only 3/4 went)
nevertheless it was still FUN! :D:D
met char/yc/brina/farz/yl/yt at pp first.
that game that we were playing was freaking lame ._. everyone was lying.
first it was farz/brina/yc. lied that they weren't going
then it was char, who was 'pissed' when no one was turning up for the outing
&i was that poor little thang that was caught in the middle of all this rubbish LOL!
though i know there was a high possibility that they were lying
...

sleeping beauty nicole overslept &decided not to turn up. roar
so we marched down to ecp from pp and joked along the way((:
so much crap. -grumbles.
started cycling at 6pm &there were some hiccups along the way.
people cried. the outing was almost a flop!
but well.. dinner fixed everything :D

bored bw began pairing everyone up.
&yes i agree with eug regarding his stupid/gayyyy routine of:
first suaning people
&when he doesnt get the attention, he'll go around poking people
._. gayyyy to the max please!! (&i know you'll read this :D)
-throws fries at you.
.
.
.
hit the arcade after dinner &waaaa it was so so so fun
&it made everyone so so so happy! :D:D
give it up bw, your para para skills are _____ (insert any negative word)
ddr-ed with brina &we failed miserably. like shits.
it was late late &mothers kept calling
said byebye to ecp and byebye to 03/07.

let's take a picture of love

2007-11-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

my arms are aching now. ouch.
house of the dead 4 was so so so fun! :D:D
stupid brina is a noob at playing that HAHA!! and we she kept screaming/jumping
whenever the monsters kept coming close (omg lol) ._.
&i had to keep reminding her to shake the bloody gun to reload
&i had to keep reminding her to shake it extra hard to free ourselves from the monster's grasp
rofl!!
raced motorbike with her and we left the arcade.
we're the happy happy people who relived their childhood :D:D
.
.
.
rarrhh!! had to go back to school to return my results slip .V.
when i didn't have to go to school. missed the Alevel people.
then took a bus down to pp to meet brina &shopped at topshop.
forgot what happened alr but we laughed alot :D
okayyy shall upload pics &blog about class outing another day!

our hopes &expectations
black holes &revelations

it's OP tomorrow!!

2007-10-31T23:16:00.000+08:00

it's less than 24 hours to my fav. op! zzz. rehearsals again ._.
can't wait for it to be over, so i can burn all my slides and scripts in a bonfire :D
everyone's fighting over the classrooms to rehearse op.
&the pathetic school only opened 7 classrooms for the J1s
so everyone had to beg teachers to book the CRs for them.
-rolls eyes.

trooped down to pp with nicole/yc/bw/farz :D
ate at long johns after so long cos it's halal (lol)
hmm and can anyone tell me if pastamania is halal? HAHA
&yet another ~~bitching~~ chatting session :D:D

didn't feel like going home so early so i tagged along with farz's pw group to mp lib with brina.
&we wasted one whole afternoon there doing nothing but taking time to gossip :D
so fun! and whatever went through my head i shouldn't have touched that stupid lovecalculator
._. ._. ._.
borrowed books and we all went home (damn late)

class outing tmr!! finally wheee :D:D

chocolate obsession

2007-10-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

went back to school for I&R submission and op rehearsals again. OP OP OP (f_ _ k)

but well.. things are getting better i hope. everyone's cooperating already(:
lol farz and yingchao were making a hell out of noise along the corridors racing on their black/white chairs.
racism HAHAHA :D
my feet smelt like dead fish. my pig shoes were still wet &i'd to wear my wetwet shoes into school and then change into slippers
if not the security uncle will catch me, like ystdy ._.
i hate f.tong for implementing this fking silly rule!
like.. what's wrong with wearing slippers to school? whatever.

then i went gelare with charmaine and yc.
only with them cos the rest backed out wth, roarrrr bite them!
.. but HEH it was still v.fun!!
3 of us shared 2 large waffle (omg) and it was so so so heavenly!! :D:D

&i realise that our class is a very fun/challenging to analyse.
class politics.

WHEEE! charmaine &i smuggled ourselves into the SC ROOM!! ( ._. )

don't come knocking on my door

2007-10-28T18:19:00.000+08:00

(inserts sigh here)
recently i've been seeing that flasher at the deserted bus stop again.
like so many times.
&it doesn't help to know what the hell he's doing behind the newspapers
don't worry, he didn't flash anymore
cos i learnt my lesson &kept my head hanging low.

can somebody just arrest him please? .V. .V.

stop bugging me

2007-10-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

argh. i've been blogging so much today. but i can't help it
MY HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH VARIOUS INSECTS!
first it was this gigantic flying cockroach (which was shot down by my dad with a rubber band :D)
second was a baby lizard (which my mum squashed it)
it even waggled its tail at me ._.
now it's this round bug that's glued on my wall.
):):):

&i'm getting addicted to The X Family now! :D:D
my dad's asking me for KO One cos he hasn't finished the show.
awww jc heard that? hurry hand me the cds!!

the picture says it all

2007-10-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

you'll see it. if you think alike.

blue magic

2007-10-26T17:18:00.000+08:00

friday so didn't feel like the last day of school.

umm, something was just missing.

i remember at this point of time 2 years ago, i would be so busy doing operation cleanup.

&then i'll recieve my report card.

there was psp/mahjong cards/poker cards/soggy wrinkled fingers/wet pinafores/stupid role plays.

HAHAHA just one word: fun.

but there wasn't all these this year. everything ended too abrupt.

plus it's still not really the end of school. there's still the all time sickening OP.

f the system .V.

nevertheless.. there're still pictures :D (some)

on a high! :D

2007-10-23T21:29:00.000+08:00

op rehearsal today was rather screwed. everyone said we were soft (lol) but i remembered speaking at the top of my voice (:

have to mention that the class interaction (well.. maybe not the entire class) after the math lecture was so so fun :D:D

everyone was exceptionally high HAHA like.. for no reasons &we're thinking of ponning double chem.

but thankgod we didn't. ms tan was pms-y today ):): spoilt the atmosphere

~~eug~~ sai's mood was so rotten after chem. lol hoped the lunch made you happier! :D:D

yesyesyes so xw/nicole/farz/boons/yingchao/sai/yaolong/yitheng/brina (infrared) and i trooped down to pizza hut for lunch!

waa HAPPY to the max!! hmm if i wasn't wrong, half the time we're all gossiping bout nicole's lovelife (:(:

lalala we should organise more of such outings :D yeap the next should be the one after OP?

oh and i have to mention: THANKS KENNETH! for your present!! :D:D ohhh you know me so well HAHAHA! so now i have scatterbrain &bump.