is proud to have been a tkgian & tjcian :D:D
i❤my shitzx to bitzx too!

THE SHITXZ!
XUEWEN
CHARMAINE
MR.WILSON
CARIAN
JOSHUA
MICHEL
FAWN
BOONWEI
JINGCHUN
Designer Basecodes
AdobePhotoshop

It took time to see:
August 2004 September 2004 December 2004 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2007 March 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 April 2010 January 2011

"Everyone's so engrossed in finding their own happy endings
thay they tend to overlook the ones leaving their lives.. and those that should stay.
&for some people, their happy endings may just be something as simple as moving on.."

man.. something so farnieh yet disgusting happened in the afternoon ((:

jingchun and i were walking along this narrow pathway after tuition and we walked past this stretch of road as per normal. we were chatting bout julie's return to school tomorrow and we happened to walk past this ah-chek (who's in his 40s) and guess what? HE ACTUALLY FARTED IN MY DIRECTION!? BWHAHAHAHS.. I ALMOST DIED OF SHOCK LARHS :DD and that man still dared to look at me summore lorhs. wtf. jingchun and i couldn't stand it and broke into a laughing fit later larhs. who the hell cares if the ah-chek saw it ((:

then we crossed the road to the opposite coffee shop and there we saw this construction worker. he was scrambling to the grass patch beside us amd guess what again? HE USED HIS FINGERS TO LIFT UP HIS NOSTRILS AND BLEW HIS FRIGGING NOSE!! eeeyer.. we dare not look at the product that came out of his nose larhs.. DUH =\ we ran away. hahahs(:

hmmms.. just created another blog on friday night. hehs.. ohmygosh 5-items will be on TUES and i haven't started practicing my sit-ups yet. i'm gonna die larhs =\ tsktsk.. i've just finished watching 14 episodes of FULLHOUSE! and i'm waiting for ah ni to pass me the remaining 10 discs so i can burn for her HAHS.. and at the same time i can watch watch too mahs :D

RAIN IISH TOTALLY SOOO CUTE AND ADORABLE LARHS!! I LOVE THE WAY HE SMILES COS THAT'S WHEN HE'LL SQUINT AND HIS EYES AND LIPS WILL FORM A LINE!! WHAHHAHAHAS I CAN'T SEEM TO GET ENOUGH OF HIM SIA!! SOMEONE BRING IN THE RAIN!!

oohs and i managed to find more of the soundtrack of FULLHOUSE:
"Full HouseOST -- 你现在 (ni xian zai)" http://ecampus.waying.edu.hk/01318/korea.mp3

ehyeah.. i'm B O R E D =




i wonder if the stars* appeared tonight..

yeaaahh!! the stars came out again tonight :D
but there's only the small ones)=

how contradicting.. the smilies.
just like me.

i saw stars again tonight!! :DD
after the heavy rain and the cloudy nights
they're all so gorgeous and dreamy
the entire sky was dotted with sparkling stars,
big and small(:
i'm facinated.
i'm blinded by them.
i'm in love with them<3

shall blog before i go for a bubble bathe.. like real. i think i'm addicted to anything related to the country korea. their food, their traditional costumes, their their idol drama and their songs! i'm listening to my love by jungchul (from viv's blog) it's my second time listening to it and it sounds touching. i guess all the ballads of korean dramas appears touching to me(:


click here to listen to:
"Full HouseOST --Sha La La" http://upload.jmqs.com/files/2005-7-9/200579165457109665.wma
"Full HouseOST -- 命运 (mingyun)" http://cc.hbu.cn/dragon/Images/homepage/fate.mp3


amath CA today was alright i suppose. but i think i got the last question wrong, the portion bout the ratio of the area of ACD and ABC. i got 5:2 for the first part and 25/4 for the second while the rest had 9/4 =X nehminds.. it's over )= bio CA was another screwed up one. i should have flipped to the back of the tys larhs. i was doing the MCQs but what's the use? puhuhuhuhuhu)'= the acid resistan drug shit caused me to lose 3marks the least. !$$%#&$(&(#)#@^%@

my msn accound got hacked into on monday night. like what the fcuk. that frigging hacker changed my pw to some queer looking shit and went around terrorizing my contacts and blocking them after they refused to oblige to his absurd request. shall i elaborate? hmmms.. maybe a brief one? eurghs. the thought of it makes me wanna puke. it's a he and he wanted my contacts to take a pic of themselves in uniform and lifting their skirts, revealing their panties. damn disgusting. and by doing so, he claimed that he would return my account and not sell the pics that he holds( i suppose is the msn dp) to some shit syndicate in the states. the syndicate doctors the pic into some horny porn pictures with the aid of photoshop and sells them. I MEAN WHO THE HELL IN THE WORLD WILL AGREE TO DO SO? i guess he was sick and irritated by my attempts to force him to return me my acc, which he returned awhile after he blocked me cos i wasn't obliging to his request. to hell you son of a bitch.

i suspect he's the same hacker that hacked into my junior's acc some time ago. and he actually conversed with me the night he hacked into her acc. he was asking me for some ahemcybersexahem with him. buzz off asshole, over my dead body.

hmms.. i saw something today. but i dunno how to describe my feelings. this is what happened:
i know ophelia liked this book and i bought it for her. it took me long to comtemplate as to buy it or not. money wasn't the issue. but. does she know it was me? and today, i saw her giving that book to her friend whom i suppose was interested in the book too. it was later that i found out from valerie that ophe already had the book. sighx. i had never wanted it to fall into other's hands, though i know mine's an extra. hehx.. but i can't do anything. it's not mine, it's ophe's already. she's the right to do anything.

it's 10 mins to 12 midnight. another day flew past just liddat =
i'm burning "Full House" for ah ni.. MY GOSH I WAS WATCHING THE 1ST 5 DISCS AND NOW IM SHO IN LOCE/ CRAZY/ SIAO/ INFATUATED WITH RAIN!!! :D sheesh.. he's hot man(; and i've finally found another species of my own. he's also eyeless like me HAHAHS =\ tsk.. and it RAINed this morning(: i was having a bad hair day thankews.




i'm shoo shooo in love with him sia.. after song seung hun in summer scent(: monsoon RAIN's blown over to teekaygeeass 3/7. hehs.. but i just think that RAIN resembles kunda.. only that kunda's lips are pouty-er ehehx! sexay sexay body!! LAST CD TO GO THEN I CAN GO LALALAND!!! -drools-

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that I too too will miss you much
miss you much..

I can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside

Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that I too too will miss you much
miss you much..

I have your arms around me
ooooh like fire
but when I open my eyes
you're gone..

eurgh.. MY AUNT JUST CONFESSED THAT SHE SHAT OUT A ROUNDWORM WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG!? oh shat puurlease?! omgomgomg.. she's driving me up the paranoid wall =\ I DUNCH WANNA HAVE ROUNDWORMS/TAPEWORMS OR WHATEVER!! -cries-

oohh wells.. she claimed that she was shitting one day when she saw this worm as thick as her finger wriggling in the toiletbowl =\ that's nice, aunt. and there was another incident when she was wiping her ass and she spotted WHITE baby worms(i assume) on the toiletpaper =X andandand she went into a cubicle with a toiletbowl infested with white 'lively' worms!! eeeeeyer.. i think she should just go date horny yong they seem to have a common topic to kick off with -- WORMS :DD

but i think compared to my aunt's experience, jingchun's father's experience is more shiok! it was said that on a fine day decades ago, his mom(jingchun's grandmother) saw a looooong worm crawling out of his butt while he was playing with his toys =\\ nehminds.. i should just shuddup bout worms SSSSSS


sheesh.. im just tooo tired to blog bout anything else. )))=
toodles(:

watched project superstar just now. li jun did a cover version of this song:


"一个人生活" -- 林凡

叶子在窗外轻轻吹过
人行道没有行人走过
镜子里的我很不像我自

从你离开了我变得很软弱
你的影子在每一个角落
好像是在提醒着我
少了你的陪伴我现在有多寂寞

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
我想我可以假装不曾爱过
冰凉的夜里让眼泪温热我
(感觉如果要走谁能说 no)

我想我可以习惯一个人生活
在记忆里面擦去你的承诺
爱情怎么会是这个结果
(爱情是个梦而我睡过头)


hehex.. school was farnieh today ESPECIALLY BIO LESSON! i'm so glad im no longer feeling distracted during horney yong's period and i've been listening! hahs. gross man she spent like practically the whole period discussing bout the different parasite worms that live in your body =X let's recall.. there were bladderworms, roundworms(SHEESH THEY'RE AS THICK AS YOUR PENCIL!?), tapeworms(THEY GROW UP TO 10M LONG!? =\ ), intestinal worms and legworms?

HAHAS bear, rachel and i were coming up with all those gross methods to get they 10m long worm out of your ass when you realise that it's dangling out after you shit(: and these are the conclusions: 1) tie your worm to the door and walk 10m around your house 2) tie your worm to the door of a car and drive off HAHAS 3) tie your worm to the blades of a fan and operate the fan. hahs.. your worm will start twirling around the blades! :D SHO HORNY LARHS.. I WAS HIIGGGGH!! :DD

eeeeyer.. suddenly dunno what to write alreadys. `mAyB3 i sHuUd r3s0rT tUuu dIs~~*?

oooh.. after school was farnieh((: joz, ah ni JC and i are gonna DEWORM ourselves :D eeeew.. but we're afraid to shat after that cos we dun wanna "see worms waving at us!" YUCK!! chicken bolognese.. -gags-

i shtink =X -whines-

MOMMY I HAVE BLISHTER GROWING ON MY HAND!! WAAAAAHHH.. -.-

okays.. im being lame larhs. eeyer dunno how to blog liaos, everyday seems the same to me =\ hahas.. and i'm just looking forward to the birthday treatings((: ni&me; jules&fawn; cow&jingchun? maybe we should consider another sleepover again :D and i've been comtemplating.. maybe a steamboat? ehs i've treated sakae sushi last year and ni's swensens so i dunt wanna return to those places again, can? budden.. i don't really mind anything larhs AS LONG AS THEY'RE FREE!! =X

hmmms. got back our chem paper todays and OHMIGOSH jingchun and i scored the same marks! waahh.. that girl arhs improve so much sia while i'm still maintaining my frigging standard. maybe i should buck up abit more? dunno larhs -.-

ehs.. and i dint know that paddy pat and lyn know bout 'you're beautiful'! HAHAHS we're singing it throughout the journey to bedok((: but it's time to face the truth.. cos i'll never be with you. great song ain't it?? sighx.

oOhH.. wHa+'S wRoNg Wi+h tYpIngG dIs wAy hUhxXX~~!? sE3Mz LyKe DeH sHtiCky CaPs Is bAcK iN aC+i0n aLrEaDiiE nEhHxx.. ]] =X



Aaaaggh.. it took me sho long to type that few sentences larhs. i remembered when i was in p6 this shticky caps thing was so IN but now it's like 'uummmm' SHO HARD TO READ AND TYPE LARHS!! oooh and not forgetting 'l0lxX' HAHAHS.. been trying to talk to fadh liddat online wahhh it almost killed us both larhs =
geeesh think im gonna die for 2.4 next week larhs. ive been so slack these few months. 'boh' stamina already! and now my mom's asking me to finish some beancurd thing in the middle of the night. eurgh, shtupid me can't resist the temptation larhs.. idiot. )= my tummy still feels warm under my skin. X= AAARRRGHH PUKE IT OUT SAM.. PUKE!!

'neways mrs ang was being pms-y again today. dunno what's the actual reason behind her mood flunctuations. the whole class' been speculating =\ hehs.. yeah WHATEVER!!

I FINALLY BOUGHT THAT PENCIL CASE THAT I WAS EYEING FOR!! AAAARGH!! : D

went pp with JC, ah ni and bear(: planet surf-ed again sia and we tried on so many different clothes in there. met mr lee hahas(: bumped into meishan and company there. bleagh. according to bear they were throwing us some dirty look, the how-come-you-people-are-here look. acck larhs your shop meh??

school was alrights i suppose. oh gosh i practically died during PE larhs X= stitches again i hope it doesn't happen next week sia, my timing was horrible )= clever bear, alongside with sumati and some other people, ponned PE and hid in the library. GREAT hahs.. oooh legacy was crappy(: we're doing some sunno what racial harmony project which occupies 40% of the whole CIP hours.



sighx. i guess somethings can't really be forced. it takes 2 to clap. though, sometimes i still ask myself: do i regret making that choice. if i hadn't nothing of this sort would've resulted. but i guess partially was the memories that made it all worthwhile. it's no longer 'us'.. it's 'me' and 'you'. it's understood-ed. i know i'm a nuisance, you dun have to change the way you are, but i have to. maybe things will improve, maybe it won't, it's all up to you already. i've just lost a friend.. perhaps, tho i'm reluctant to concede. i'm sorry for everything i've caused you.

okays i think i'm really getting the moodbug. no mood for anything. my concentration and focus seem to waver. maybe it's just me. i let the least get into me )= no good sam.

wells..

ah ni called me during emath tuition and broke this shocking news to me. she said jules had fractured her collar bone. her left hand seemed affected too.. eh? anyway it's good to see her back home already but she's still in that cast )= i wanna pay her a visit sia but tennis ruined my schedule eurgh!! ni said that jules and gen slipped and fell cos it was raining and gen laid right on top of jules =X poor thang.. rest well julie(:



tsk.. i dunno if you'll ever come across this but i guess this is one of the better alternatives? anyways.. maybe that's how you think, then i can't do anything. but why dont you prove yourself wrong? there can be a normal friendship if you are willing to try, really. i don't wish to regret anything again in the future, whether it's for me or for you. give us a chance. we may be happier that way, who knows? i'm only waiting for you to nod.

is this so hard?



if i put this nicely, i was ditched.
if i put this bluntly, my feelings are being toyed mercilessly.
and i suppose you dont know how it feels like.. cos YOU AREN'T MADE USE OF. i am.

this is becoming really hurtful.
i still can't figure
how someone so beautiful at first can turn so devilish in a blink of an eye?

you.

it took me ages just to get over you.
i know it's peanuts to you to forget forever.
and now when i'm starting to step out of this once and for all
your harshness ruined me. completely.
you pushed me back into that whirl. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SEE?

there's a limit to all these
i'm utterly disappointed
you shunned. you avoided.
and i'm here trying to solve the problem.
you obtained pleasure from my turmoil
do you think it's right?
cruelty isn't the best solution. IT'S THE WORST.

sighx..
your method doesn't work on me.
you're killing me instead.
why can't we return to what we were before everything happened?
those tears. scars. pain.
you inflict on me.

let me repeat:
I'M A SOMEONE. I'M A GIRL
I'M A GIRL WITH FEELINGS, EMOTIONS.
I'M NOT SOME TRASH THAT YOU PICK UP AND DISPOSE ANYTIME YOU WANT.
I'M ALIVE. I'M NOT INVISIBLE.
AVOIDANCE IS NOT THE SOLUTION.
THINK ABOUT YOUR EVERY ACTIONS.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS AFFECTING ME.
BE MORE SENSITIVE!
I'M TIRED. I REALLY AM.
STOP HURTING ME WHETHER IT'S ON PURPOSE OR NOT.
SPARE SOME FRIGGING THOUGHT FOR ME
PLEASE.
I BEG YOU..




i really don't wish to carry that clumsy facade to school anymore.
this will really be the end of me.

oh-my-gosh HARRY POTTER'S HERE ALREADY!!!! WHAAAAAAAAA...

my aunt went to collect for me early early this morning AND SHE MANAGED TO GET ME THE ADULT VERSION! 3 cheers for her sia! :D but then.. BOO cos i can only start reading my book a week later cos she's not coming down to granny's this week ))= which means i'll start reading when everyone else has finished. how late.

shopped abit with jingchun at PP hehs we went to Planet Surf and tried on some clothes HAHS and i dint know jingchun can look so gorgeous with a mini skirt (hipster sia :D). i chose to try on this white tube top and a black skirt and she took a black tee and white shirt. tsk.. we looked like some sisters/girlband okays hahas.. called BLACK N WHITE :D whoohoo!!


happy happy day larhs(: and tsk.. i have something in mind -evil grin-

OH MY GAWD!! i was gazing at the nightsky before i tucked into my dinner and guess what i saw? MANY MANY MANY SPARKLING STARS!! I'M TOTALLY ENCHANTED BY THE SCENERY!! okays people you may think i'm making a great fuss bout this -glares at yana- but man.. it's been ages since i've come across stars THIS HUGE and shiny(((x

i was like dancing bout the balcony larhs. GOSH MY BALCONY RAWKED TOTALLY i can view PP and Chong Cheng Main when i turn to my left and i can see Shenton way, indoor stadium and suntec on my right!! sheesh.. SOMEONE CALM ME DOWN!! =\ i think the last time i got to see such bright stars was during OBS when i camped near the coast(: it was soo long ago.. and they became something dear to me as time passed. even now..

watching tv now. i've never been back home so early in my entire sec 3 life before (wells.. for as long as i can remember) i reached home like around 4 today.. but on somedays i return home around 3 plus. man.. oh wells today's yet another average day. shall go practice my amaths TOODLES((:



i won't let your indifference snuff out my burning flame of hope.
we can't continue escaping this way..

OMG i think i totally flunked the orals today larhs!! geesh.. our exaiminers were from St Patricks and Katong Convent. two ladies and their looks totally contradict each other -- one was thin, tall with frizzy curls and was dressed in white while the other wore this red outfit which made her look like some angpow. eew.. but come to think bout it both do resemble mrs khoo and tan kk respectively =

we dint even realise that the oral had already started cuz everyone was too absorbed in their blabberings. hahas and everyone was speaking chinese all of a sudden, including bear(: chat chat chatting with ni and bear and i guess because we've encountered orals before.. so that explains why non of us were a wee bit nervous. =X ohs and the three sixers came up with this hand signal thing to hint us if the overall's difficult not. and it seems that everyone was scratching their heads larh as they exited the hall -- which means the oral's shat )=


our passage was alright. not a single sophisticated word but the news discussion was UH-UH! they asked if teenagers nowadays take notice of the country's conditions as well as the global development. i totally stammered through the whole thing! eurgh. I CAN JUST SLAPPA MYSELF ON THE SPOT LARHS!! then came the conversation, another shit.. they asked bout the parks in singapore. like ummm.. i've never been to one for ages sia and i started yakking nonsense and cooking up some fiction for them =X bleagh it's over sam.


it was the same for english. the conversation was horrible especially on the alternative medicine thingye. i thought they're refering to the dosage of chinese and western drugs at the same time AND I DINT KNOW I WAS OFF TOPIC! kays.. i expect a fail for this man. ))=


anyways.. it's been some sort of a birthday period for us sia. last thurs it was JC's then on mon it was jules and today it's fawn's. HAHAHAS((: and that hammy that cow bought for fawn's simply SOOO adorable larhs everyone kept swooping to it every moment. i guess it's lifespan will shorten after today. hahahs. IT'S FAT ALRIGHTS?

alrights. i haven't been blogging for a day? or maybe two larhs.


hmms.. had my english oral today. it was OKAY at least i could say something bout the convosation section =\ but i totally dint understand what the question meant by "alternative medicine" and i gave some stupid answer that dint tally!! X= i'm so gonna flunk this thing but ack.. it's over )=


another oral coming our way on wed -- GCE 'O' levels =\ another stressful thing. haven't been polishing my cheena and i have to get them out the following day. right. bleagh! tomorrow's chemistry CA. sheesh i dint really study that much and im feeling kinda guilty? dunno..


ack larh.. i was one of the last few to take oral and so it was only me, bear and jc (not forgetting jia en but she's busy with the com) in the room talking. we were discussing bout something so deep and i was kinda suprised that bear has this kinda mindset! hi-5 sia.. she thinks almost the same as me((: oh wells.. my mom's gonna come in anytime sia and OMG I REALISED THAT I HAVE BLACK EYE RINGS!! x= oh no!!! i've got to sleep more(which is abit impossible) and ask for cosmetics from my mom or use the cucumber method =\ I DUNT CARE PLEASE GET THESE UGLY LOOKING THING OFF MY EYE ))=

-yawn- nowadays i can't even sleep early. CAs and springs and all. bleagh. or maybe i think it's because of the holidays.. i've been turning in kinda early for the last few days but i get exhausted real easily now. =

hahs.. anyway i've been trying to fiddle with my digi cam((: i'm charging now bleeagh. i realised something: I'M BECOMING A NARCISSIST!! HAHAHAS(: man i'm gonna flood friendster with the pics aha!


geog CA was.. a total disaster. shuddup): next week is gonna be another packed week for me, i hope the 4th week won't be so bad. i have a final wish to make: i hope we can patch up asap. i pray every night cuz i don't want things to mutate further. please give us a chance, will you?





just a memory
every dream is of you and me
if i wish upon the stars
well i hope that's where you are.

it's 12:13am now on a friday morning.




i walked around with a smile but deep inside,
i could hear voices telling me
this ain't right don't you know, it's not for you

i'm so glad today's over.
goodnight world.


感觉有那么甜我那么依恋
只想在睡前在听见你的 密语甜言

sheesh larh. parents can just be so unreasonable at times everytime. they suck. IT'S NO WONDER WHY SINGAPOREAN PARENTS ARE GRADED SUCH A LOW GRADE!! urgh.. they dont know anything bout us under the surface. what they're doing now is provide you with all the necessities that you need, support you and that's it. they just makes sure you're coming along well in school and yeah larh. BLEAGH LARH!!


fcuk off. im tired enough.

it's ten thirty something now in the morning. this post is gonna be a meaningless one i'm just so bored. so here i am trying to vent all my fustrations here =\ impossible larh.


i see people walk in and out of my life but it takes alot for someone to leave footprints in my heart. i'm just thinking there already aren't many people walking into my life, and more people are leaving.. i've been talking to charl regarding this sort of topics and she seems to agree with me too. but i guess she's still luckier than me.. at least. i still dunt understand why people are treated differently. ive been thinking kinda deep recently and i'm disappointed time and time again. bullshit.. when people appear so nice to you initially, now i finally understand what it meant by the one who means the most to you hurts you the most.


i see everyone going in pairs or at least. you know.. that kinda definite one that will be there no matter what and you put your trust in them. i always thought i had one for primary school and secodary school but i just seems to me that they're always leaving me. it wasn't like once or twice.. it's everytime. why can't they spare a thought for me? i hate that bitter feeling. i was let down once in primary school and i sweared that i wont let it happen in secondary school. unfortunately it happened again. i mean.. people just dont give it a damn bout my feelings. why?

thicker and tougher front. i need one.

5th day of term 3:


no impression of what happened today in the morning. hmmms but i do remember bringing 3 bananas to school today cuz i trusted horny yong when she claimed that bananas aid depression. like SO NOT TRUE SIA! -clears throat- i gobbled 2 and look what happened? urgh.


i dint turn up for training in the end. man.. i'm so sorry alina)= sighx. but this was so last minute. i dint expect anything to happen also, man man.. but i was so glad steffi understood(: hmmms.. dazing outside of the window and hurling bits of paper into the air kinda helps. perhaps singing too. sometimes i really can't fathom people. i'm a girl.. with feelings too. i'm not like some trash that you can use me when you need me and dispose me whenever you don't. (thanks, the 3 of you(: )




when a knife enters your heart