is proud to have been a tkgian & tjcian :D:D
i❤my shitzx to bitzx too!

THE SHITXZ!
XUEWEN
CHARMAINE
MR.WILSON
CARIAN
JOSHUA
MICHEL
FAWN
BOONWEI
JINGCHUN
Designer Basecodes
AdobePhotoshop

It took time to see:
August 2004 September 2004 December 2004 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 February 2007 March 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 May 2009 April 2010 January 2011

"Everyone's so engrossed in finding their own happy endings
thay they tend to overlook the ones leaving their lives.. and those that should stay.
&for some people, their happy endings may just be something as simple as moving on.."

now i know you're not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
cos now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
cos i liked the view
when there was me and you.

Someone cries and it washes the street with tears
But when they are mine, they collect in my head for years
Rain or shine, still i'm standing on all i said
Cos it's in my soul, carry on when the feeling's dead

But if you can't hold on
Let it go and come back in your heart
And if you can't hold on
Maybe it's not time for you
And if you can't hold on
On your very last try
I'll be there in the morning to pull you through

Someone dies late at night and I never know
And even if I did, so afraid of the face I'd show
I feel trapped and enslaved to this dark contrast
Need a feeling now, give me something that's going to last

i want to be free
Yes, I want to be free
Oh, I want to be free
Yes, I want to be free

You say you want to be free
But you can't fool me

Oh, and if you can't hold on
Let it go and come back in your heart
And if you can't hold on
Maybe it's not time for you
And if you can't hold on
On your very last try
I'll be there so you know that you're not alone

hmm anyways i've taken down one of the older posts. what's meant to be will be.

met up with the shitxz last night. dinner @ thaipan(: but cow was absent HAH
gossiped/ bitched alot &we randomly raked up our pasts while walking over to ice-cream chef's.
ohh like what jul said.. everything sounded so long long ago which is true(:
how well do we know ourselves and others?

ahh and jingchun's returning in a month half's time which means we've got an excuse to sneak out to chill! :D:D
hmm the GSS's coming too but we confirm won't have time for crazy shopping sprees ): nvm chun shall be our excuse! HAHA kidding girl if you're reading this(:
ruled out the idea of having sleepovers @ her house again, lest we get all drunk &the whole drama repeats itself. HAHA
had our ice creams. i had honeydew with snickers :p soo we sat at the same place as before &chilled. the laundry shop.

anyways choc jul &i discussed bout our futures on our bus ride home. ahh everything sounds so bleak LOL. singapore's education system's freaking stressing the shitxz out of us .v. how unhealthy for the mind and body.
who knows i may be stressing out to bout work and i may just collapse and die of over-exhaustion the nxt thing w/o knowing myself.
thought bout migration HAHA whatever. thought bout our plans to open up a pastry shop/ cafe tgt for chilling out :D sounds good.
.
.
.

someone said:
you'll never stop loving someone, you'll just have to learn to live without them.

i know we're moving fast
we're running from the past
i'm holding on before it slips away

could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
and baby that's alright
it's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
there's a reason why they say that we should give it time
but time is not enough
&that's the reason why
when you're young, you fall in love.

dots. sports meet was silly but gamma still owned the rest! :D
hmm lol we had an inspiring talk during contact time it's about "How Not To Marry A Jerk" HAHA that's what i need the most(:
the speaker was darn true.. like 90%? LMFAO &he's damn funny.
it takes alot from the guys to turn girls on.. like hugging/ kissing/ romancing/ nuzzling/ squeezing ._./ ignore the fat bits (HAHA! so true!) etc.
and the only way to turn guys on is to - arrive naked! ROFL ohmytian :D:D

ohoh i think i've found a new eyecandy HAHA but the calibre like not-so-very-good compared to eyecandy one &two! rarrr how much i miss them.. how i wish they're both still here ): tsktsk the guy has very nice eyes omg! :D

rarrr i hate myself these days. i've spoken so many lies.. white lies &i rlly feel guilty/ shameless for lying. unless sth happens, i'll still carry on with the lie cos
it's protection.

i think you're so hard to fathom. promises are meant to be honoured.. or should they be broken? i think i heard you say escapism. it doesn't really matter to you.

i'm fine already,
at least i'm loving my laughter &smiles again(:
almost seven days of singlesville's life again. nothing special just.. an emptiness i can't lay my finger on.
but i know Time's the answer to all. Time will bleach heartbreaks &frame memories.

you're not the person that you used to be
the one i want who wanted me
and that's a shame but

i'd hug those who have helped me through the toughest times, you know who you are.
seeing me crumble in tears &playing awesome audiences.
thankyou.

there's only so many tears that you can cry
before it drains the light right from your eyes
and i can't go on that way

i'm glad my family's there for me too. unlike previously where i only had my pillow &the nights to confide in.
yea xuewen you're right, nothing beats having your family to play audiences.

well.. this is a closure to a very special chapter of my life.
i guess we're both not mature enough to handle a mature rship.
i realise my presence was already a kind of stress to you.
you're not strong enough to handle stress &time.
our mistake for finding excuses to cover up the problems.
my only regret is not being given a chance to work things out tgt with you.

and how could we quit something
we never even tried
well you still can't tell me why

anyway, thx for everything since the day we met. all the best(:

and so i'm letting go of everything we were
it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt

we built it up to watch it fall
like we meant nothing at all
i gave and gave the best of me
but couldn't give you what you need

you walked away
you stole my life
just to find what you're looking for
but no matter how i try
i can't hate you anymore

只能低著头发呆　让回忆渗透脑袋 渐渐变空白

把他当作个意外　但内心还想不开 因为我明白　其实你都还在

我想起了遇见你的时候 想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀裏的颤抖 似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　当你离开的时候

我可以装作已释怀　他对我也算关怀 他看不出来
我知道这样不应该　在他身上找依赖 算不算是种出卖　因为你一直在

我想起了遇见你的时候 想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀裏的颤抖 似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候 想起你眼神中的沈默
我想起了我们平静的分手 我闭上眼
想起当时你美丽的承诺 把你整个心都交给我
然而到後来我什麼都没有　越是没有你　越是心痛

i really hate to admit that i dislike waking up in the morning everyday.
i just hope for a morning which i won't be awaken by disturbed thoughts/stress &be haunted by them for the rest of the morning.
it all comes running back - that feeling.
yea &i hate having to find all sorts of reasons to make myself feel better.
i'm like a balloon that's gonna burst anytime.. there's too much fears doubts stress worries bottling up inside.
but i've to deal with it anyway. they just won't leave.
.
.

on a ______ note, i think i've adapted to the new communication method between us,
&it stings y'noe.
seeing my phone hurts.
but i'm getting numb.
BUT i'm gonna be strong &fix the problem.

SAM SHOUTS "STRESSED!!"

omfg.


yeayea. i think bugs just love me. first it was the emo bug, now it's the stress bug
&not forgetting all the other miscellaneous (real) bugs that keep flying into my face ._.
thanks alot dudes.
for the past 4 nights i've been having either dreams with the same characters or nightmares.
bah there's no difference cos both jerk me awake in the middle of the night everytime. &abandons me with that familiar yet foreign feeling the one i felt everynight 3 years back to cajole me to sleep. wth
but i never got back my sleep after that.
.
.

omg the waterfall is real!this was our 5 star beach resortstupid ant that crawled onto my leg ._.

i don't know why am i doing here. HAH
good or not, i'm already feeling the stress of A's.
and i want the best of both worlds.

okkk mommy emo's gone away BUT baby emo's here to stay ):
i'm glad i sort half my worries &doubts with him alr (though i doubt he knows lol)
but i'm still unhappy bout it. sigh &the worse's tht i've only fridays (nights) for us.
i request for a little bit more time.. is it ever possible? it's not much to ask for.
sighhh.. anyways i still have to thank those lovely friends who stood by me &played audiences.
you guys rock.