Saturday, May 14, 2005
i'm falling.. soon; 11:02 PM
i just wish i could turn back time.. i just wished that i didn't keep mum..
i just wish..
nothing's going right for me now, i'm losing one by one. but i didn't really mind cuz i thought i still had it. it's my everything. i still thought i can take it. as long as i don't lose completely.
but apparently, things just don't turn out right when everything starts plunging downhill. )=
i wasn't quite sure when it started but it dawned onto me that even my last, most precious possession is slipping away too.. i tried not to panic. in the day, it is still managable but sometimes when night falls, and behind closed doors, i realised it's already too hard to hold everything back. often i find my assessments stained suddenly. i just can't control the flow.
no one knows. sometimes i wonder how can i possibly seal myself and have fun on the surface and break silently on the inside.
i feel i'm facing everything by myself with nothing but tears and fake smiles
maybe i can lose everything. but i can't lose it. i don't wish to see people with suspicion.
once trust is broken. bring back the past.. i struggle
my pillar *.. still there?